Being a woman...

...and not needing someone else's validation: here's a hard concept for some people.

Image taken from here.

For some odd reason, some people seem to think that a woman is not complete in herself, and has to be in a relationship and become a mother in order to gain status.

For an even odder reason, some people seem to think that a woman can only feel validated when men compliment her.

Here's a few little secrets:

• Not all women want to be in a relationship or believe in it, for that matter;
• Not all women want to be in a relationship with men;
• Not all women want to have children;
• There are women that actually know what they bring to the table and don't need compliments from others to realise it.

So... Will this society ever stop being chauvinistic and patronizing towards women?!? 

Because this is getting old, and more annoying by the second...

Tired

Today that is how I feel.

Not because today was a long day and I slept little. Which is true and it was for an awesome cause - I went out with a friend, to chill and talk a bit while listening to an outstanding live band play: here's XPTO Band's Facebook Page, should you be curious enough to get acquainted with them.

And not because it was training day, though it always makes me want to go to bed early. I train with an awesome Personal Trainer every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

I am tired because the world we live in is not always nice or fair.
To be fair, it is not the world - the world is a beautiful place. To be fair it is some people that don't play nice nor are they fair to the rest of the world.

People that think of numbers instead of human beings, people that choose power and money over people, people that use and abuse their fellow human beings, people that choose war over people because it suits them financially or power-wise.

Unfortunately, these people are in places of power, where they can make decisions over lives as if we're pawns on a chess board, where they can create laws so as to benefit themselves.

This is not fair, this is not right, and it should be illegal.
Our votes provide them with a job and we are basically their bosses. They should be working for us, and not for their hidden (and, sometimes, not so hidden) agendas.
And we should be allowed to fire them and throw them in jail for being incompetent and/or corrupt.

Image taken from here.

What if we want to be alone?

An open letter for those that don’t wish to date or to be in a relationship

We keep bumping into great articles (and others not so great) on how relationships are awesome, in regards to falling in love, how to cope with falling out of love, and how to get back on the dating game.

Image taken from here.

But what if we want nothing to do with that? What if we just want to be by ourselves and we are not the least inclined to date, let alone to start a relationship? What if we are happy with being just by ourselves and to have fun with friends?

Don't get me wrong! I've dated before. Some dates went well, some did not.

And, yes, I've been in relationships before.

But, for quite a while, I've been feeling like I am focused on myself, my well-being, my personal growth and development, and I don't have emotional availability to have someone else in my life.

I don't want to feel obliged to spend time with someone, to go out and do whatever with them, and it would not be fair for that person to be in a relationship with me and be alone all the time because I'd rather be doing something else than spending time with that person.

I want to do things for myself that make me happy, I want to achieve goals of my own, learn music, write, read, and not having to put up with other people’s expectations and demands.

I don’t want to worry about having to make room for someone else in my life, when I just want to care for myself.

You may think that I am being egotistical? Perhaps I am. But this is how I feel, and I am not changing to please someone else other than myself. And until that change comes (should it ever come), this is how it’s going to be.

And I know so many others in the same mind frame! We just want to have fun, to live our lives on our own terms, to revel in our alone time with our chosen activities.

But there is this social pressure to start dating (even some friends pressure us to start dating) that makes us feel awkward, weird, like we're doing something wrong.

My friends, allow me to share with you my 2 cents: we are not doing something wrong. We are following our hearts, and that is perfectly fine!

It does not matter if we don't want to date now, or if we don't ever want to date!

It's our lives we are talking about, and we should be happy living them (as long as it's consensual and we're harming none), and we should be free to live them the way we want to!

Image taken from here.

I don't mind being weird: I know I am, I've made my peace with being weird, and I've come to cherish my weirdness dearly – I could never be happy without my weirdness.

We are the way we are, and we don't have to live in a grey world where everyone is the same, and think alike.

Be yourself, be happy the way it feels right to you. Don't be afraid to be called weird for not wanting to date.

If you want to date, go on dates.

If you don't want to date, then don't.

Either way, we are all normal within our own standards, and it is perfectly ok to live our lives as we see fit.

Why starting a blog?

I enjoy writing, and I mostly do it for myself, be it in Portuguese (my native language) or in English. Soon (I hope), I might even give French a try.

I write on word files on my computer, I write on physical notebooks that I keep in my room and my library.

I write poetry (one of my poems was recently published in a book with poems written by several authors), social criticism articles, deep thoughts, scientific articles regarding Psychology, whatever floats my boat.

"So... Why start a blog? Why now?", you may ask.

I've had blogs before, but ended up giving up on them - I was a lot younger then. I was a student, and I found it hard to juggle school and other activities at the time.

Mainly because I think it's about time that I start sharing my thoughts with the world, and to get feedback from whoever has the patience to read them, and feels like communicating.

Lets face it: it's a huge world, and the internet allows us to "visit" places, meet people and touch and be touched by cultures other than our own that we most likely would never be able to experience otherwise.

That is how we learn. And, as I see it, once a student, always a student.

What can you expect from my blog? Expect the unexpected!

You'll most likely bump into poetry, deep thoughts, personal development articles, music (I love music and I take great pleasure in torturing friends, family, neighbors, coworkers - I can sing all day!), book reviews and recommendations (I love reading!), photographs I might take (I love Photography, but I am only an amateur, so please bear with me), social criticism articles, travelling...

If it pops in my mind, it might end up on my blog!