Feminism: why it is needed?

Feminism has been portrayed as such an ugly word.

Most men keep babbling on how feminism is so wrong and how it is not needed, especially in developed countries.

Quite interesting how so many men feel offended and threatened when women fight for equal rights to actually start taking place, for women to finally be treated as equals, as having the same rights as men.

But, after all, it is standard procedure. When oppressed people try to fight for their rights, the oppressor usually feels threatened.

And, thus, we have the #notallmen's, we have the "you're a feminazi, ugly lesbian, men hater...yadda yadda yadda...shut your face or I'll make you", and so many fucktards insulting, harassing, and intimidating any woman that dares to defend the preposterous idea that women should have the same liberties and rights as men, as is legislated.

Recently, in Portugal, a law was changed so as to defend people (adults, adolescents, children) from sexual harassment (verbal and otherwise) in the street.

However, as it can be applied to cat calling, you can imagine the <insert loads of sarcasm> wonderful, loving and caring words </sarcasm> that so many men have been posting.

From "if any of you file a report to the authorities, I will rape you" and "these whores are stripping us from our rights as men" to "women will only get AIDS, if they try to fight us when we rape them".
I've read them all.

I recently became a more active member of women's rights, I am a feminist (as are so many women and men throughout the world), and it is scary how many psychopathic creeps you find everywhere, both online and offline.

I get approached on social networks on public posts on through my inbox by men I don't know from Adam with the purpose of harassing me. 

For the past few days, a man was insulting, harassing and intimidating women on a post (on a feminist page; he didn't dare to address other men there). 

I commented how that kind of behaviour was pathetic. The guy simply reported me.
Interesting, as he was the one insulting, harassing and intimidating people there. 

I guess my calling him out on his improper behaviour hurt his fragile sexist, misogynistic ego.

Please, understand that feminism is not the exact opposite to machismo. Feminists don't hate men. Feminists defend the rights of those oppressed by the patriarchy.

Lets face it: men are also victims. When you are told that men don't cry... That is abuse!
You are human! You have feelings and emotions! You are a person and you should feel free to express yourself as you see fit, and that includes crying.

And I can think of so many other examples!

The patriarchal society is negative for both men and women.

Feminists fight for women's rights, yes. But also for black people's rights, for men's rights, for the rights of the LGBTQIA community, and for anything that is not working for one or all of us.

We know not all men are bad, we know that men are also raped and attacked within relationships.

We are aware of it.

We fight for your right to stand up and fight for not being victims as well.

We are not minimizing your experiences, we are not denying them.

We are not saying all men do this.
We are saying this has to stop, for men and for women.

We are saying one gender is not better than nor above the other, that one sexual orientation is not better than nor above the other.

We, feminists, are saying that women ought to feel safe to go out, wearing whatever clothes they want, whatever the time or place, whatever their job, whatever they drink, without wondering if they'll be harassed, raped and killed.

We are saying to stop blaming the victims, and start addressing the real guilty ones: the rapists. Rape is about anger, about hate, about control.

When society blames the victims, they are placing the responsibility of preventing rapes solely on women. Which means, society does not trust men, hormone ridden fellows, not to rape women because, apparently, you lack any sense of self-control.
You can understand how bad it is?!?

And then there's the notion of being self-entitled. People!, women don't owe you sex. Not even if you observe standard civilized behaviour.

You don't expect other men to fuck you because you are polite, correct?

You only have sex with women (using women because this pertains to women being killed by men they reject) when you are attracted to those women, right? You fall in love and date women that appeal to you, right? And, even then, only if they correspond to your ideal women, correct?

Well, with women the same principles apply. If we're not attracted to you, we won't be inclined to date you.

Most men won't take no for an answer, even if told, straightforwardly, that we're not interested.
Most women will be afraid and feel uncomfortable and will start avoiding these men.

Please, move on. There will be someone interested in you, no matter your opinion of yourself. You will find this person.

Don't make yourself a nuisance, don't be a stalker. Leave the women alone. Move on.

You can also tell other men to cut it out, when you see them being disrespectful in regards to women, banalising rape through "dark humour jokes", harassing or intimidating women.
You won't be less of a man if you do it.
On the contrary, you will be more respected.

On rapists and assigning blame

After reading yet another rape story on how the rapist walked free and the victim was raped all over again, in court, by the ones that should be protecting the victims and not their attackers, I felt it was time to speak up again in regards to how backwards all this is.

Rapists are scum and ought to taste a bit of their poison. >_<

Image taken from here.

Rape culture is very real.

Image taken from here.

Society keeps blaming women for the actions of their rapists, abusers, offenders.

Women have rights and are, by law, equal to men.
Unfortunately, that is only on paper.

Women should not have to worry about what time they go out or return home, where to and whether they should be with someone or not. Women should not worry about what they are wearing.

However, men should learn to respect women and their choices, and stop being self-entitled little shits.

A woman's world does not revolve around men.
How a woman dresses, if they wear makeup and high heels, whether or not she has a tattoo or where it just about her, and how she feels. It's not about some sorry ass wanker.

No means no, showing discomfort at your advances is huge no, being out cold due to drinking or a spiked drink is definitely a no.

Image taken from here.

Image taken from here.

A woman that drinks is not asking for it.
A woman that wears revealing clothes is not asking for it.
Nor is asking for it a woman that works in the sex industry.

If a woman accuses a man of raping her chances are he did it and she is not lying just to destroy his life. In fact, almost no man (to not say no man at all) ever accused of rape or sexual harassment has ever had his life destroyed over accusations. And, if they ever do, it's well-deserved, given the damage they caused in the lives of the women they raped.

"What damages?", may you ask. Think PTSD, for example. You don't develop it just in war scenarios - you also develop PTSD due to experiencing rape. 

Image taken from here.

A woman has the right to choose whom she fucks (and when) and whom (and when) she does not want to fuck. She has the right to choose whom she wishes to be in a relationship with (and it is your right to say you're not interested in return, just like a woman has also the right to refuse you), and whom she doesn't.

Image taken from here.

Just because you have a dick, doesn't mean you have to act like one.

There are women you are attracted to, and women you are not attracted to.
The same principle applies to women: the fact that you have a dick doesn't mandatorily get us all hot and bothered in regards to you.

And if it didn't happen at first, chances are we'll never look at you that way.

Image taken from here.

In that case, stop pushing it, don't make yourself a nuisance, just be friends and find someone else that might be interested in you.

And if you're going to pretend you're a good guy (I know a few of those and, trust me, you are not a nice guy) and start with the "not all men" crap, think again! Stop lying to yourselves, pick up your male tears, go drown in them someplace else, and get the fuck out of my blog.

Image taken from here.

Terrorism, fanatics and human stupidity

Image found on Google

Beirut, Lebanon

Baghdad, Iraq

Paris, France

More attacks on other cities and countries to be expected.

Terrorism is everywhere. It's a real threat, and people are getting more and more stupid, attacking each other instead of coming up with intelligent solutions for this huge, worldwide issue/problem/situation/whatever you wish to call it.

Image found on Google

Terrorists claim to do these attacks in the name of religion when it really is all about instilling fear, and gaining power and control over the rest of the world.

And then there are those throughout the social networks: some blaming the refugees for these terrorist attacks and others claiming the first ones are stupid, prejudiced, and blind.

The problem is: everybody is being blind.
I am not saying the Syrian refugees are to blame and we're not to help them. Hell no!
I am saying that the terrorists made a brilliant move by mingling with the Syrian refugees in order to gain access to strategic places in Europe.

Image found on Google

Lets face it, Europe was under-prepared for this refugee exodus. Europe was unable to control who was entering their borders or not.

I can almost hear/read "You are in favour or controlling who enters our borders and who lives in our countries!!! Shame on you!!!".
My reply? "Hey, jackass, don't you have a fucking ID card in your wallet?!? What do you think that is, genius?"

Image found on Google

Yes, it is pretty normal for countries to want to know who enters their borders and who is staying/living there. Even if just for defense and economical purposes.

Do I believe every Syrian refugee is a potential terrorist?
Do I believe that every immigrant from Muslim countries is a potential terrorist?
Obviously not. I believe most want nothing more than to live and let live.

But now I ask you: Do you really believe that no fanatic or terrorist came to Europe pretending to be a refugee or just someone seeking a better life? If so, you should open your eyes to reality and stop thinking that everyone is as good as you are or believe yourself to be.

I still think we should help everyone that needs our help, within our possibilities.
I also think we must look after our own population and keep them safe while helping others.

The European Powers-That-Be were naive and arrogant about the potential dangers and did not prepare as they should have.
And now the shit has hit the fan and we're all going to suffer for that.

Image found on Google

Supporting small business & Artists – Folk Owl

As I shared with you before, I find it important to support small businesses and artists I enjoy. I believe in getting involved in any way I can.

Faerie cuffs with acorn husks from Sherwood Forest

After all, if we cannot give the time of day to support the things we enjoy, then such things aren't really something we enjoy all that much.

Thus, I am sharing with you another small business that I love tremendously and, once I can afford it, I will start purchasing items from them. ^_^

Please, meet Folk Owl from the Magical Woodlands. They also have a Facebook page.
You'll love them, so do pay their pages a visit.

These people create Elemental Clothing and Jewelry.
And you may ask, "What on Earth is Elemental Clothing and Jewelry?"

This is Elemental Clothing and Jewelry:

Faerie Earrings - Whimsical Earrings

Wild Moss Woodland Felted cape

Velvet Woodland Autumn Leaf satchel pixie bag

Supporting Artists and small businesses - Dona Zarzanga

Calavera Sugar Skull Handpainted Planter

I do think we should support artists and small business if we believe in them and their artwork.

Thus, and as we're approaching Samhain/Halloween, I would like to present you the artwork of a friend of mine: Dona Zarzanga.

She has new items. I think you'll love her pieces.

I am torn between the vases, any of the cats or the owl.

She ships abroad, all the way from our corner of the world - Lisbon, Portugal -, in case you were wondering.

I hope you enjoy her work as much as I do.

Sugar Skull Cat Day of the Dead Red Portuguese Heart

Sugar Skull Owl Day Flowers & Bone

Frida Khalo Sugar Skull Cat

Welcome to the Dark Side...

Just kidding, but that is what I'll be ranting about in this post.

No, I'm not offering cookies. I'm offering something better: something for you to think about. Because we, the ladies, also have brains, and we should not be afraid to use such important parts of us.

Image taken from here.

Ever since childhood we, the ladies, are taught that we must repress our darker side: we always have to be polite, we always have to smile and keep our best behaviour, we must smile when we're angry or sad, when we're forced to do stuff we hate, that annoys us.

We are raised to be people-pleasers at our own cost, our well-being and happiness.

And then the world goes nuts when we snap in the middle of a lousy week.

Ladies, we're like the Moon - we have dark sides too. Though I'm not saying we should act upon our dark sides, we really need to find balance.

We need to face our dark sides, befriend the darkness within and stop being scared of it, of what the world might think of this new discovered friendship.

We need to find balance in everything in life. Our darker and lighter sides, our happiness and other people's. Because, ladies, we only live once, and we deserve to be happy, enjoy our own lives and stop allowing others to live through us. They had their chance, now it's our turn.

Be happy, ladies. Be free. Be whole and complete in yourselves. Join the dark side.

Being a woman...

...and not needing someone else's validation: here's a hard concept for some people.

Image taken from here.

For some odd reason, some people seem to think that a woman is not complete in herself, and has to be in a relationship and become a mother in order to gain status.

For an even odder reason, some people seem to think that a woman can only feel validated when men compliment her.

Here's a few little secrets:

• Not all women want to be in a relationship or believe in it, for that matter;
• Not all women want to be in a relationship with men;
• Not all women want to have children;
• There are women that actually know what they bring to the table and don't need compliments from others to realise it.

So... Will this society ever stop being chauvinistic and patronizing towards women?!? 

Because this is getting old, and more annoying by the second...

October 4th - World Animal Day 2015

On October 4th the world celebrated World Animal Day 2015.

I wished for the day when World Animal Day will be deemed unnecessary.
I wished for a time when Animals will no longer be tortured in vile experiments.
A time when Animals will no longer be abandoned nor tortured.
A time when Humans will stop seeing themselves as above all species and start treating other Animals as their equals and as having the right to their lives and dignity.

As long as a World Animal Day is needed, I will celebrate it with a heavy heart.

World Map of Endangered Species. Image taken from here.

Mabon Blessings! Happy Autumnal Equinox!

And so, today, with the turning of the wheel of the year, another season begins, another cycle commences.

I love all the seasons, each season has its special thing about it.

I love Autumn for its colours, its scents, and what I associate it with.

Soon the first rains will fall from the sky (and the emanating petrichor), as will the orange, red, brown and gold tree leaves falling to the ground.

And I cannot think of nothing better than getting home, changing to comfy clothes, preparing some hot tea, grabbing a book or a good movie, a blanket, and going for a lovely "couching" session, while listening to the rain outside. Soooo relaxing! 

As you know, the end of Summer and the beginning of Autumn is associated with harvesting, of ripping what you've sown. Something usually done as a community (or, at least, with the help of family and friends) - at least in Góis (Portugal) it is a bit like that.

How can you celebrate such an event?

Think of growth, maturity, change, and how magical that is. Think of apples, pears, corn, grapes, and so on.

You may want to celebrate (by yourself or even over dinner, even if you're the only one in the know) by adding cornbread, apple pie, pear cake, wine or grape juice... You get the point.

Whatever you choose to do, have fun while doing it. Otherwise, you won't be celebrating at all.

Image found online

Tired

Today that is how I feel.

Not because today was a long day and I slept little. Which is true and it was for an awesome cause - I went out with a friend, to chill and talk a bit while listening to an outstanding live band play: here's XPTO Band's Facebook Page, should you be curious enough to get acquainted with them.

And not because it was training day, though it always makes me want to go to bed early. I train with an awesome Personal Trainer every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

I am tired because the world we live in is not always nice or fair.
To be fair, it is not the world - the world is a beautiful place. To be fair it is some people that don't play nice nor are they fair to the rest of the world.

People that think of numbers instead of human beings, people that choose power and money over people, people that use and abuse their fellow human beings, people that choose war over people because it suits them financially or power-wise.

Unfortunately, these people are in places of power, where they can make decisions over lives as if we're pawns on a chess board, where they can create laws so as to benefit themselves.

This is not fair, this is not right, and it should be illegal.
Our votes provide them with a job and we are basically their bosses. They should be working for us, and not for their hidden (and, sometimes, not so hidden) agendas.
And we should be allowed to fire them and throw them in jail for being incompetent and/or corrupt.

Image taken from here.

Woman, Writer, Thinker - Maya Angelou

Image taken from here

Maya Angelou (April 4, 1928 - May 28, 2014), one of my favourite Poets, was an American award-winning author, a civil rights activist, and a brilliant Thinker.

You can find her biography here, should you choose to learn further on this great Lady.

I will leave you with one of my favourite poems, part of her legacy to the world.

Phenomenal Woman (1978)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size 

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips, 

The stride of my step, 

The curl of my lips. 

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman, 

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please, 

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees. 

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees. 

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes, 

And the flash of my teeth, 

The swing in my waist, 

And the joy in my feet. 

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered 

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them, 

They say they still can’t see. 

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back, 

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed. 

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud. 

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels, 

The bend of my hair, 

the palm of my hand, 

The need for my care. 

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Poem taken from here.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

...I know I've been away, but it was for a good cause.

Góis, Coimbra, Portugal - partial view. By Ana Simões

I told you you would be bumping into Photography every once in a while, as it is a subject I am quite fond of.

These past 2 weeks I was away, in a stunning place (small village and municipality, in the middle of forests) called Góis.

So... How do you find Góis?!? Góis is a little municipality (and village) in Portugal, at about 40km away from Coimbra district.

I was there on vacation walking, sleeping, taking photographs and revisiting lovely friends!

And where can you find my photograps? Too easy!

Either on my DeviantArt profile or on my Flickr photostream.

Here are a few examples of what you can find there...

Manueline Bridge, Góis. By Ana Simões

Wild flowers. Ana Simões

On the edge of the forest. By Ana Simões

Kitten on a wild path. By Ana Simões

Loreena McKennitt - All Souls Night

Tonight I am sharing a song that speaks to me in so many ways, in such deep levels, that takes me to a different place and time, and that wakes up my Pagan side. It makes me happy, makes me feel like dancing under the Moon, fills me with energy.
This song makes me feel at peace.

Loreena McKennitt - All Souls Night

Bonfires dot the rolling hills

Figures dance around and around

To drums that pulse out echoes of darkness

Moving to the pagan sound.

Somewhere in a hidden memory

Images float before my eyes

Of fragrant nights of straw and of bonfires

And dancing till the next sunrise.

I can see the lights in the distance

Trembling in the dark cloak of night

Candles and lanterns are dancing, dancing 

A waltz on All Souls Night.

Figures of cornstalks bend in the shadows

Held up tall as the flames leap high 

The green knight holds the holly bush 

To mark where the old year passes by.

I can see the lights in the distance

Trembling in the dark cloak of night

Candles and lanterns are dancing, dancing

A waltz on All Souls Night.

Bonfires dot the rolling hillsides

Figures dance around and around 

To drums that pulse out echoes of darkness 

And moving to the pagan sound.

Standing on the bridge that crosses

The river that goes out to the sea 

The wind is full of a thousand voices 

They pass by the bridge and me.

Photograph taken today, by yours truly

What if we want to be alone?

An open letter for those that don’t wish to date or to be in a relationship

We keep bumping into great articles (and others not so great) on how relationships are awesome, in regards to falling in love, how to cope with falling out of love, and how to get back on the dating game.

Image taken from here.

But what if we want nothing to do with that? What if we just want to be by ourselves and we are not the least inclined to date, let alone to start a relationship? What if we are happy with being just by ourselves and to have fun with friends?

Don't get me wrong! I've dated before. Some dates went well, some did not.

And, yes, I've been in relationships before.

But, for quite a while, I've been feeling like I am focused on myself, my well-being, my personal growth and development, and I don't have emotional availability to have someone else in my life.

I don't want to feel obliged to spend time with someone, to go out and do whatever with them, and it would not be fair for that person to be in a relationship with me and be alone all the time because I'd rather be doing something else than spending time with that person.

I want to do things for myself that make me happy, I want to achieve goals of my own, learn music, write, read, and not having to put up with other people’s expectations and demands.

I don’t want to worry about having to make room for someone else in my life, when I just want to care for myself.

You may think that I am being egotistical? Perhaps I am. But this is how I feel, and I am not changing to please someone else other than myself. And until that change comes (should it ever come), this is how it’s going to be.

And I know so many others in the same mind frame! We just want to have fun, to live our lives on our own terms, to revel in our alone time with our chosen activities.

But there is this social pressure to start dating (even some friends pressure us to start dating) that makes us feel awkward, weird, like we're doing something wrong.

My friends, allow me to share with you my 2 cents: we are not doing something wrong. We are following our hearts, and that is perfectly fine!

It does not matter if we don't want to date now, or if we don't ever want to date!

It's our lives we are talking about, and we should be happy living them (as long as it's consensual and we're harming none), and we should be free to live them the way we want to!

Image taken from here.

I don't mind being weird: I know I am, I've made my peace with being weird, and I've come to cherish my weirdness dearly – I could never be happy without my weirdness.

We are the way we are, and we don't have to live in a grey world where everyone is the same, and think alike.

Be yourself, be happy the way it feels right to you. Don't be afraid to be called weird for not wanting to date.

If you want to date, go on dates.

If you don't want to date, then don't.

Either way, we are all normal within our own standards, and it is perfectly ok to live our lives as we see fit.

Wanderer

I am called the Conjurer

Only darkness they see

Moon and stars light the path

For the Wanderer in me

I am shadow, I am light

I am all I can be

I am the force in my life

As I will it, I roam free.

Artwork by Catarina Formigo. See link below for other works by her.

Poem written for a friend's design, whose DeviantArt page you can check by clicking here.

Why starting a blog?

I enjoy writing, and I mostly do it for myself, be it in Portuguese (my native language) or in English. Soon (I hope), I might even give French a try.

I write on word files on my computer, I write on physical notebooks that I keep in my room and my library.

I write poetry (one of my poems was recently published in a book with poems written by several authors), social criticism articles, deep thoughts, scientific articles regarding Psychology, whatever floats my boat.

"So... Why start a blog? Why now?", you may ask.

I've had blogs before, but ended up giving up on them - I was a lot younger then. I was a student, and I found it hard to juggle school and other activities at the time.

Mainly because I think it's about time that I start sharing my thoughts with the world, and to get feedback from whoever has the patience to read them, and feels like communicating.

Lets face it: it's a huge world, and the internet allows us to "visit" places, meet people and touch and be touched by cultures other than our own that we most likely would never be able to experience otherwise.

That is how we learn. And, as I see it, once a student, always a student.

What can you expect from my blog? Expect the unexpected!

You'll most likely bump into poetry, deep thoughts, personal development articles, music (I love music and I take great pleasure in torturing friends, family, neighbors, coworkers - I can sing all day!), book reviews and recommendations (I love reading!), photographs I might take (I love Photography, but I am only an amateur, so please bear with me), social criticism articles, travelling...

If it pops in my mind, it might end up on my blog!