Women, you deserve better!

We live for the weekends (that might not actually for on the actual weekends, if you're working shifts with different schedules), holidays and vacations of our lives.

Image taken from here

And those are the breaks we have from the hardships that come with growing up, adulting, having a job that takes at least 8 hours of our lives (in Portugal, a full time job has mandatory 8 hours, and a normal work day is at least 8 hours, with little chance of having the extra hours paid).

After the shift, you go home. And, if you fall under the female category, that usually means an extra shift.

Usually, you work all day, you go home, your dinner won't cook by itself, you might want to get things ready for the following day, and organise your house a bit. Unless you have made plans with a friend. And this, of course, if you live by yourself.

However, if you have kids and a significant other, then there's your family to take care of: dinner, showers, cleaning up whatever needs to be cleaned. That and listen to your significant other's problems when he most likely won't even ask how your day was. Looking for some "me" time? LoL

Stay at home mum? Your whole day revolves around the house and your kids' lives, and your significant other's. You think you have problems? LOL How dare you think you had a bad day, when you spend your days at home - isn't that the dream life? Oh yes, and so much for some "me" time.

Image taken from here

Unless the kids' parent(s) actually pull their weight around the house and contribute with their share of the workload, you're in it for the second shift of the day - the Cinderella shift (without the happily ever after). And it shouldn't be that way: after all, they also eat, they also soil stuff, and they also live in the freaking house.

Women, you don't just need help around the house. You need someone that helps you improve your day, not someone that only increases your workload by playing the big kid in an useless adult body, and that can only sleep (and snore), stuff their faces and watch tv (and, most likely, go out with friends, or tell you how you should be doing "your work at home").

Women, we deserve better! And please don't fall for the "it's embarrassing for a woman not to be able to take care of her man" because, what's embarrassing is for a man not to be able to take care of himself.

Women, we deserve better than to also do all the emotional and mental workload because men are unable to think of someone other than themselves.

You shouldn't have to ask for help with the house chores. They need to share the workload!

Improve your lives! You deserve to also have a life and to rest. You're a woman and you are not paid to be his maid and personal psychologist.

Men, stop being useless twats and start taking responsibility. You also live there!!!

Image taken from here

What about our damned rights?!?

According to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, specifically the articles cited below, 

Article 1. 

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.

Article 2. 

Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty. 

Article 3. 

Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person. 

Article 4. 

No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms. 

Article 5. 

No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment. 

Article 6. 

Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law. 

Article 7. 

All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination. 

Article 8. 

Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law. 

Article 16. 

(1) Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family. They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution. 

(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending spouses. 

Article 23. 

(2) Everyone, without any discrimination, has the right to equal pay for equal work. 

Article 24. 

Everyone has the right to rest and leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and periodic holidays with pay. 

Article 28. 

Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.

men and women are supposed to have equal rights.

Unfortunately, women's rights seem to be a lot less equal than men's. And that is blatantly obvious when we look at the media and find news articles such as

Outrage over 6-month sentence for Brock Turner in Stanford rape case (US)

Portuguese judge uses Bible to excuse abusive husband (Portugal)

English judge says man having sex with wife is 'fundamental human right' (UK)

Image found online

This is when I ask "Where the hell are our damned rights?!?"

When I am told that I should be happy that I don't have it worse, I feel like screaming in their faces and tell them to shove their misogyny in a really dark place of their own anatomy.

Legally, we have the same rights as men.

And, yet, we are paid less, not chosen for the same professional opportunities just because we might want to have kids, in some western countries (I'm looking at you, US!) we have less bodily rights than a freaking corpse.

And, yet, everywhere in the world we are treated as decoration (and you either match society's idea of beauty or you are seen as sub-human and treated like garbage).

And, yet, we are told to smile more, like we owe any stranger your time of day.

And, yet, we're insulted and degraded if we don't reply according to men's wishes, and even brutally attacked and viciously killed if we don't want to date them.

And it pains me when I hear women say that they don't need feminism. Mostly because they never read about feminism and think it is the exact opposite of machismo.

To all of you fuming furiously at each post on blogs and social media regarding feminism, please, tell yourselves why you think feminism is no longer needed, when it so clearly is.

Image found online

Book review: The Story of Awkward, by R. K. Ryals

To be fair, I was not expecting much when I started reading this book. But it mentioned "awkward" and I've had my share of feeling that way. So I gave it a go.

And, honestly, it was the best thing I could have ever done.

The book is told from the point of view of main character (also the narrator) and, let me tell you, without spoiling it for you, it made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me dream and, when I finished it, it made me feel like going back to the start because I got addicted to this book.

I loved it! The characters are well created. The story, filled with awkwardness, captures you as you won't believe it.

R. K. Ryals is definitely a writer I will be following more closely.

R. K. Ryals, The Story of Awkward. Kobo Books

Tea, poetry and me (Ana Simões, 29/03/2019)

Image found here

Time flies, days pass, stars fade,
The tides change endlessly.
But there are things in my life that remain:
Tea, poetry and me.

Relationships might be fleeting,
Though they won't end painlessly
But I have all the love I need:
I have tea, poetry and me

Happiness and joy can last a song,
While a bad day might feel eternity
But still it won't last as long
As tea, poetry and me

My heart may break into a thousand pieces
But I promise you you will still see,
Tomorrow we shall still be here
Tea, poetry and me

Time flies...

...and so does life.

Almost 4 years have passed since I started this blog. So much has changed in my life.

Jobs changed, loved ones passed away, health issues have come and gone, life got in the way of blogging time and again, and so many challenges have been faced since September 5th, 2015.

I've gained further insight into life and its hardships (another way to say I am older) and, on the verge of turning 40, it is time to reassess this blog.

It sucks big time to try to learn a language by myself. I learn a lot better with a teacher. So French is not as good as I would like to.
However, I am back to learning German (with a teacher, mind you), so lets see how far that'll take me.

I still write, but not as often as I would like to. I wish to go back to writing poetry, so lets see how that goes. Inspiration, I am looking at you.

You can still expect the unexpected from my blog.
Only now, besides social criticism, poetry, photography, books and movies reviews, traveling and music (yes, I still bug everyone with that), you can also expect suggestions on what to visit everywhere I go (be it in my country or in any other I might be lucky enough to visit), and food related articles (be it recipes or restaurant reviews).

Yes, I love food! And I am owning up to that.

Food is love, it brings people together, be it family or people of different communities.

Food is life. Photosynthesis does not work all that well for me. Chances are that for you it doesn't work either.

Food is utterly fun! It's like spellwork for your tummy.

And it's my favourite way (even if not the most positive) way of coping with stress. It beats, however, throwing people off windows. To be honest, that sort of behaviour is frowned upon and I don't look good in prison fashion.

Photo found here

So, yes, expect the beauty.
Expect rage.
Expect pain, sorrow, but expect also love and happiness.
Expect everything as that is what you will likely find.

Expect me soon...

Feminism: why it is needed?

Feminism has been portrayed as such an ugly word.

Most men keep babbling on how feminism is so wrong and how it is not needed, especially in developed countries.

Quite interesting how so many men feel offended and threatened when women fight for equal rights to actually start taking place, for women to finally be treated as equals, as having the same rights as men.

But, after all, it is standard procedure. When oppressed people try to fight for their rights, the oppressor usually feels threatened.

And, thus, we have the #notallmen's, we have the "you're a feminazi, ugly lesbian, men hater...yadda yadda yadda...shut your face or I'll make you", and so many fucktards insulting, harassing, and intimidating any woman that dares to defend the preposterous idea that women should have the same liberties and rights as men, as is legislated.

Recently, in Portugal, a law was changed so as to defend people (adults, adolescents, children) from sexual harassment (verbal and otherwise) in the street.

However, as it can be applied to cat calling, you can imagine the <insert loads of sarcasm> wonderful, loving and caring words </sarcasm> that so many men have been posting.

From "if any of you file a report to the authorities, I will rape you" and "these whores are stripping us from our rights as men" to "women will only get AIDS, if they try to fight us when we rape them".
I've read them all.

I recently became a more active member of women's rights, I am a feminist (as are so many women and men throughout the world), and it is scary how many psychopathic creeps you find everywhere, both online and offline.

I get approached on social networks on public posts on through my inbox by men I don't know from Adam with the purpose of harassing me. 

For the past few days, a man was insulting, harassing and intimidating women on a post (on a feminist page; he didn't dare to address other men there). 

I commented how that kind of behaviour was pathetic. The guy simply reported me.
Interesting, as he was the one insulting, harassing and intimidating people there. 

I guess my calling him out on his improper behaviour hurt his fragile sexist, misogynistic ego.

Please, understand that feminism is not the exact opposite to machismo. Feminists don't hate men. Feminists defend the rights of those oppressed by the patriarchy.

Lets face it: men are also victims. When you are told that men don't cry... That is abuse!
You are human! You have feelings and emotions! You are a person and you should feel free to express yourself as you see fit, and that includes crying.

And I can think of so many other examples!

The patriarchal society is negative for both men and women.

Feminists fight for women's rights, yes. But also for black people's rights, for men's rights, for the rights of the LGBTQIA community, and for anything that is not working for one or all of us.

We know not all men are bad, we know that men are also raped and attacked within relationships.

We are aware of it.

We fight for your right to stand up and fight for not being victims as well.

We are not minimizing your experiences, we are not denying them.

We are not saying all men do this.
We are saying this has to stop, for men and for women.

We are saying one gender is not better than nor above the other, that one sexual orientation is not better than nor above the other.

We, feminists, are saying that women ought to feel safe to go out, wearing whatever clothes they want, whatever the time or place, whatever their job, whatever they drink, without wondering if they'll be harassed, raped and killed.

We are saying to stop blaming the victims, and start addressing the real guilty ones: the rapists. Rape is about anger, about hate, about control.

When society blames the victims, they are placing the responsibility of preventing rapes solely on women. Which means, society does not trust men, hormone ridden fellows, not to rape women because, apparently, you lack any sense of self-control.
You can understand how bad it is?!?

And then there's the notion of being self-entitled. People!, women don't owe you sex. Not even if you observe standard civilized behaviour.

You don't expect other men to fuck you because you are polite, correct?

You only have sex with women (using women because this pertains to women being killed by men they reject) when you are attracted to those women, right? You fall in love and date women that appeal to you, right? And, even then, only if they correspond to your ideal women, correct?

Well, with women the same principles apply. If we're not attracted to you, we won't be inclined to date you.

Most men won't take no for an answer, even if told, straightforwardly, that we're not interested.
Most women will be afraid and feel uncomfortable and will start avoiding these men.

Please, move on. There will be someone interested in you, no matter your opinion of yourself. You will find this person.

Don't make yourself a nuisance, don't be a stalker. Leave the women alone. Move on.

You can also tell other men to cut it out, when you see them being disrespectful in regards to women, banalising rape through "dark humour jokes", harassing or intimidating women.
You won't be less of a man if you do it.
On the contrary, you will be more respected.

On rapists and assigning blame

After reading yet another rape story on how the rapist walked free and the victim was raped all over again, in court, by the ones that should be protecting the victims and not their attackers, I felt it was time to speak up again in regards to how backwards all this is.

Rapists are scum and ought to taste a bit of their poison. >_<

Image taken from here.

Rape culture is very real.

Image taken from here.

Society keeps blaming women for the actions of their rapists, abusers, offenders.

Women have rights and are, by law, equal to men.
Unfortunately, that is only on paper.

Women should not have to worry about what time they go out or return home, where to and whether they should be with someone or not. Women should not worry about what they are wearing.

However, men should learn to respect women and their choices, and stop being self-entitled little shits.

A woman's world does not revolve around men.
How a woman dresses, if they wear makeup and high heels, whether or not she has a tattoo or where it just about her, and how she feels. It's not about some sorry ass wanker.

No means no, showing discomfort at your advances is huge no, being out cold due to drinking or a spiked drink is definitely a no.

Image taken from here.

Image taken from here.

A woman that drinks is not asking for it.
A woman that wears revealing clothes is not asking for it.
Nor is asking for it a woman that works in the sex industry.

If a woman accuses a man of raping her chances are he did it and she is not lying just to destroy his life. In fact, almost no man (to not say no man at all) ever accused of rape or sexual harassment has ever had his life destroyed over accusations. And, if they ever do, it's well-deserved, given the damage they caused in the lives of the women they raped.

"What damages?", may you ask. Think PTSD, for example. You don't develop it just in war scenarios - you also develop PTSD due to experiencing rape. 

Image taken from here.

A woman has the right to choose whom she fucks (and when) and whom (and when) she does not want to fuck. She has the right to choose whom she wishes to be in a relationship with (and it is your right to say you're not interested in return, just like a woman has also the right to refuse you), and whom she doesn't.

Image taken from here.

Just because you have a dick, doesn't mean you have to act like one.

There are women you are attracted to, and women you are not attracted to.
The same principle applies to women: the fact that you have a dick doesn't mandatorily get us all hot and bothered in regards to you.

And if it didn't happen at first, chances are we'll never look at you that way.

Image taken from here.

In that case, stop pushing it, don't make yourself a nuisance, just be friends and find someone else that might be interested in you.

And if you're going to pretend you're a good guy (I know a few of those and, trust me, you are not a nice guy) and start with the "not all men" crap, think again! Stop lying to yourselves, pick up your male tears, go drown in them someplace else, and get the fuck out of my blog.

Image taken from here.